Crazy Magnetism

I have a gift. This gift may be quite unique in a way, a beam of light from the heavens above that shine upon me; whenever I'm at a train station. "Uh, excuse me. Can you spare me a dollar? I need it for you know, the train and all that. Can I follow you home? I need some exersise.". Goddam crazy people, why don't you ever leave me alone?! Do I have some sort of fucking mission marker floating above my head sending a signal to all crazies in the area going, "Look at me. I'm a fucking patsy that has to be confronted and annoyed to the point where I want to fucking stab you"?!

Here is an example of how much of a craze-magnet I am.
Earlier in the year, while coming home from TAFE I went to the train station to go home. I met some of my TAFE colleagues there, had a talk then walked away for a tick as I answered my phone. When I was looking back at them I could see them talking to this guy. After about 15 minutes on the phone, I finally hang up, turn to them and still see them with that guy still. I swear to god, he sniffs the air, then instantley looks at me.

I walk up to them when that guy starts talking to me. Oh, he's a preacher, a preacher thats doesn't want to seem to let go of us. So we get onto the train, and he follows us on. At that time I'm thinking "Oh, great. Here we go." The guys sit in two of the 3-seaters, while I have to sit next to preacher, window-side as he sits next to me :S. He starts asking all these questions about me; what's my name, what's my address, what's my number, my god! Then he asks me if I wanted to pray. I figured at the time, "sure, why not." As it's praying, what harm or dignity-loss could come from praying. All of a sudden i can feel his hand vigorously grab my forehead, "chant these words my son." And so began the process of the crazy preacher telling me what to say, as I chant them along, out loud, in the public, of a small, full-of-people train. He finally lets go of me telling me how good I was with that beauty of my grace or whatever it's called, when, quite randomly he lifts his head and notices some trashie-no-jobs playing a guitar. As you do, the preacher gets up and moves towards them in an arms-spread-out meditation position while chanting a prayer (at least I think it was a prayer). Everyone now is in wtf mode, all looking at him thinking that he is gone bonkers; "Your love of music is so beautiful, may you go in peace." Now I regret not running here, as he came back towards me, yet again blocking my only escape route with the stupid exit sign going 'nyeh, nyeh, nyeh nyeh, nyeh'. He sits back down again and begins his interigative assault while playing both good and bad cop, sigh.

The train then stops at a station. "Fuck it, I'm leaving." "Oh, this is my stop." He kindly removes himself from my side, which i found to be polite. (Oh wait, sorry, he's crazy, I'm just glad he moved) and I run to the door and leave. I do go up a few carriages and get on again, as I had to get on that particualr train, and went home.

FML.